Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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