I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
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