My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
you inspire me to be a worse person
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Randomize
