He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
