Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Randomize
