so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
