big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Randomize
