Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
