everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
