Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Randomize
