Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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