Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
