I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
