I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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