We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
