So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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