she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
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