I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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