guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
