So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
