u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
