Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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