I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
