It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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