The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Never joke about your clitoris.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
