Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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