Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
