He asked to "fluff my boner.."
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
