Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Randomize
