Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
