We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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