i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
