Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I'm determined to sit on that face.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
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