How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Drake has all the answers
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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