I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
