U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
I miss vodka workout Fridays
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
