You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
