Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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