No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize
