I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
