I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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