i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
