allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
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