stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Randomize
