I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
