i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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