I'm jealous of your bromance
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Randomize
