I want to make a zoo with you.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
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