How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Bring me that man meat
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
