Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
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