so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
