I'd wear matching sweaters with you
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
